I Want! I Want! I Want!

I've been having a lot of I want/need things. I'm putting those together, want and need, even though they are separate, because often when you want something bad enough it can seem like a need. Really I only need food and shelter and a new Iphone. Okay, maybe the last one is just a want, but it's not fair everybody else has one, I want one too! I don't know what my deal has been lately, but I seem to have the need to single handedly try to restart the economy. I think it started a couple of months ago, first our camera, and then our video camera broke within a week of each other. As a parent of two darling children, it is an absolute requirement of society that I be able to reproduce images of said children to share with the world. So I guess those really were needs. Then I had to get on Amazon to do some birthday shopping for a friend. A long standing problem I have is my addiction to purchasing DVD's (see pic) and now Blue-ray discs (it used to be cd's too, but ITunes fixed that). I have hundreds, and I rarely get to watch ones that aren't kid related, and yet I compulsively have to buy them. To my credit, I come by it naturally, my dad is actually worse than me, you should see how many movies he brings home, I at least try to be somewhat selective. So once on Amazon, I couldn't help but shop their disc sales and get myself a few presents too, definitely a need. While on there I browsed around and found all the new upcoming video games. I almost had myself convinced that I needed Beatles Rock Band, but 4 Guitar Hero games that I hadn't played in months and no place to put the drum set convinced me otherwise (but if I bought Guitar Hero 5, I could get Guitar Hero Van Halen for free, so very tempting!). While doing all this Internet browsing it was becoming quite apparent we needed a new computer, it didn't help when my brother informed me his phone had a faster processor in it. By computer standards, our pc is ancient, it's older than both our children combined, and doesn't seem to understand these new fangled websites everyone keeps coming up with. It's response time, once fast, now reminds me of when I used to log onto Prodigy at work and it would take 3 minutes just to open a page. This was most definitely a need, J concurred, and I am anxiously awaiting it's arrival. I almost needed to go the Green Day concert, but it ended up just wanting that, and needing to go the Pearl Jam show next week. At other times recently I've wanted new couches for the basement, a laptop, the NFL Sunday Ticket, a 3 wood, a puppy, and a Prius, but so far none have proved to be needs. As a family we did need a vacation, so we planned and booked a trip to Disneyland. I keep feeling like Steve Martin in the Jerk when he is breaking up with a woman and says that he's fine because all he needs is this lamp....except for this tennis racket.... and this thermos. I keep thinking this is all I need, except for that shiny new IPhone, no really, I need it! My old phone is kind of coming apart (see pic), and I won't have to buy a golf GPS, because there is an app for that, and I can track my fantasy football on it too, and FB, and my blog. See I really do need one!!

Lonely boy.

I had one of those weird parent moments last night, the moments you can only have as a parent. We had gone to dinner after O's acting class, and both boys wanted to ride home with J. This is usually a joyous occasion, because it means a peaceful ride home without yelling and screaming, and I don't have to hear the kids either. It also affords me the chance to listen to my music very loudly, something I enjoy greatly. I used to do that daily on a nice 35 minute commute to Park City. People often dislike long commutes, but other than a few snow days, it was a great ride. It was peaceful and scenic, and complete with high speeds and loud rock and roll. Last night should have been a flashback to this, it wasn't. Even though the music was turned up, it seemed very quiet. A flash of melancholy came over me, I was sad, I missed my boys. It didn't upset me that they had chosen to ride with J, I was just missing a little piece of me. It's just one of those things that comes with having kids, they become part of everything that you are. That said, about halfway through the ride, I got over myself and rocked on!

I have job security!

Yesterday I went golfing. My wife was kind enough to rework her schedule so that she could takes the boys to school and pick up Q. It may be the last time that happens. I think O thought maybe he could get away with something since mom was dropping off. He threw a fit and was not going to get out of the car, the teacher had to pull him kicking and screaming. Another teacher had to come and help, apparently it was not a pretty sight, and my wife took it hard. Things don't stop there, because she still had to wait before dropping Q off. First he told her that she was parking in the wrong place to wait, then while waiting they called me. Here is my conversation with Q "hi honey how are you?", trying to hold backs tears "daddy will you please come home now?", "I'm sorry honey, I'm golfing far away, I can't come now. Be good getting out for mommy, and don't cry", then I just hear crying. Q tells J that daddy walks him into school (I did once, but won't again), so of course mommy complies. Unfortunately J didn't remember the time to drop Q off and is 15 minutes early, which is fine except that he has to go in a room other than his classroom which he doesn't like. He falls apart, "mommy no, don't go, I want to stay with you! moooommmmmyyyyy!". I am proud of my wife, she stayed strong, handed Q over and left. I knew Q would cry at drop off, because he has been with me, so I anticipated he would be getting a day off of school. To my surprise, the softy of the two of us, turned out be the enforcer that day. Of course after drop off was finished, the first call was to inform me that she would not be doing it again, that it would henceforth be my job. That's fine with me, as long as she keeps the job of cutting fingernails and toenails, I hate that one.

My mercurial child and his meltdowns

O started his acting class today, and I couldn't have hoped for a better start. First off he came out of school in a good mood, secondly he was fine going to his new class, even though he had no prior knowledge he was going. A surprise and he took it in stride, that was good. He got a little worried when I wasn't sure where the class was, but stayed calm. We found the building and the room, and he went in without hesitation, I was shocked! He didn't worry about where I was, or what I was doing or anything he might normally do. About halfway through he came out, I worried about what was next, but it was just a potty break. He was so excited to get back, he wouldn't even wait for me to finish in the bathroom and raced back to class. It was at this point I became happy with myself and my son, we had found an activity and place he really enjoyed. I jumped the gun a bit. Next thing I know, he comes bursting out the door with the teacher chasing after telling him not to run out of the room. He's screaming, "I hate this class, I want to kill everyone, I want to kill myself!" I should note here that my son is not homicidal nor suicidal, he just has emotional issues, as in he can't control his. Once he loses his emotions like this whether it be from anger, anxiety, or fear, it becomes very difficult to rein back in. Apparently he was upset because he didn't want to be an angry bear, he wanted to be the laughing happy chipmunk. I kid you not, this is what he was upset about. He goes back in, and shortly returns just as angry, because now he has lost the privilege to play the bear. So now he is angry about being a bear, angry with himself for losing control, and angry that he doesn't get to participate, everything has built up now so that he runs and hides in a corner between a garbage can and the wall just sobbing and screaming. Two eleven year old girls there for another class watch this whole thing and inform me that he is in the right place and is going to make a great actor, they are serious about this. At this point he is neither calming down nor stopping screaming, so I physically pick him up and take him a flight of stairs up, away from everything to try and calm him down. Of course he screams out that I'm hurting him as I carry him up, always love the implications of child abuse. He says he just wants to go home and he never wants to see this place again, I ask that we talk to the teacher first. The teacher says he was great the whole time and she wasn't sure what happened, but that she would love to have him back next week. She said they were taking turns with the bear and chipmunk, and she's not sure why he ran, because she was actually going to have him be a chipmunk. O just keeps crying. pleading to go home NOW! We finally leave, and the entire 8 minute walk back to the car, he yells and complains, asking why I would sign him up for such a class, why didn't I tell him (we had discussed it the night before), and my personal favorite, how it was the worst day ever! O is a master of hyperbole, even better than Bill Walton. I just told him we weren't talking about it until later. After a few minutes driving in the car, he's calm, and tells me he is hungry and just wants to go home and have pasta for dinner. It is at this point I remember that most of his meltdowns, can be traced back to contributing issues, i.e. he's hungry or tired. I ask if that was part of his problem, he says yes, and agrees that he liked the class and will go back again next week. I actually stayed calm through all of this, I don't always, I often get frustrated with the irrationality of it and him. It goes better when I am calm, it just gives me a headache and need for a stiff drink or two later. You watch, next week will be the best day ever and why can't he come to the class more, it's never a dull day with O, I can tell you that.

Choosing your child's destiny

My wife is convinced that O needs an activity outside of school. Not that I disagree, but choosing the right one is a big decision. I don't want to pigeonhole him, but at the same time I do want to funnel him into things he would enjoy, we're shaping the direction of his life with this type of decision. O has not found his niche in life quite yet other than schoolwork (he is of course a very bright boy!), so what we choose now will affect future life altering choices. The first thought of activity for boys is athletics, but O isn't the most athletically oriented boy. It's not that he's uncoordinated or couldn't do them, it's just he's not that interested. He'd rather read his Garfield books or play with his plethora of stuffed animals, or watch TV. Q on the hand is probably going to be a little jock, wants to play anything with a ball. Despite this, our first thought was soccer. O waffled about wanting to play, but ultimately my procrastination made us miss the sign up, so no soccer. Next we considered flag football, swim lessons, and Jr Jazz basketball. O has a strong need to be very good at anything he does (he broke down in tears when he didn't win his kindergarten spelling bee), so I voted down flag football, just didn't think he'd like it or excel. Swim lessons are a struggle because he fears going under water (like panic attack fears it, which make parts of lessons difficult), so we put those off. O to my surprise wanted to play Jr Jazz, but we were too late for this session sign up. We moved on from sports, what about a musical instrument? No dice, not interested. Then I hit upon an idea, some sort of performance class/group. O is a natural performer, loves the attention, and for all his anxieties, getting up in front of a group is not one of them. This is a boy who did a stand-up routine for his kindergarten talent show and totally killed it. I had a hard time bringing myself to sign him up for one of those theme park type performing song/dance groups, I'm not so masochistic to want to sit through those performances (although I would for my boys). We decided on an acting class at the university youth theatre group, and amazingly were not too late to register despite class starting today. I hope it's the right decision, and he enjoys himself. Who knows, we may be creating a monster, another Hollywood diva actor, lord knows he's already got down melodramatic.

The evils of moon sand

I was all set to blog about trying to raise two very different boys the same and equally, when Q gave me a much better topic, the evils of Moon Sand. In a much larger sense, the evils of TV commercial mail order products for children. I like to refer to O as the marketer's dream, the kid is the ultimate childhood consumer with an endless amount of wants and desires. I think it's partly a product of his generation and the continual bombardment of advertising they see, not only on TV, but the internet as well. O goes beyond that, at 2 he would ask what your favorite Pixar movie was, he can tell you the upcoming toys for kids meals at fast food restaurants, we choose cereals based on the enclosed movie toy, if it's branded, copyrighted, or trademarked, he has an interest in it. This is especially true if it's advertised on TV (My wife and I joke when fast forwarding through Tivo'd shows about rewinding to watch a commercial, because that's what O does, he enjoys ads.). He's also spoiled, not just by his parents, but grandparents, and aunts and uncles, so his many desires are often indulged. The worst of these have been of the mail order/act now and receive this free bonus variety. We all grew up with Playdoh, a wonderful multi-colored clay with endless possibilities for fun. It was messy, but manageable, you could use one piece to clump up the rest and pick it up, it was usually possible to keep the colors separate as well. Alas, it had it's problems, if left out, it would dry up and no longer be of use. Along comes Moon Sand, it won't dry out ever, you can mold and shape it into anything you want, it comes in multi-colors, and has a handy carrying case to play and store it in. Don't be fooled by the ads, you can put it in one of the molds, but it's never all coming back out, and what does come out is not the shape of the mold. It doesn't stay in the carrying case, it sticks to everything, clothes, hands the table, the floor, then gets tracked everywhere. I attempted to curb this by instructing Q to stay at the table and tell me when he was done playing and I would get him. Silly me, instead he came over and showed me how it was sticking to his knees, his socks, and his shirt and to tell me it spilled everywhere. We started with 3 colors, we now have one that looks like a colored sand bottle shaken up. The worst part is it never dries up, so you never have an excuse to throw it away, it's a slow battle of attrition, sweeping bits of it away with every use. As big of pain as Moon Sand is, there is one that is more evil, and I'm not talking about the Pixos/Aquadots that got recalled for containing GHB, I am talking about Floam. I'm really not sure what you are supposed to do with it, or what the point is, but it's not what they show in the commercial. Floam is like brightly colored snot mixed with super glue and tiny styrofoam pellets. I'm not sure what you can do with it, because as soon as I took some out of the container it wouldn't come off my hands. It's one of those things that makes you want to jump around yell "ooh ooh, get it off, get it off!!!!!", it just feels gross. Worse, it took me 4 times washing my hands with soap before I felt I had gotten most of it off. I drew the line with the Floam, it will never be played with again, a man can only stand so much. Next time we can discuss Lego sets that you put together once and then will never be able to find all the pieces to put it together ever again, and yet boys insist on playing with them and wanting more sets.

Why blog?

I have considered blogging before, but always stopped short, because I figured nobody really gave a shit about anything I had to say (a pretty good assumption). I'm not so narcissistic to think I have anything important to say, so why start now? I'm writing for me now, because I enjoy it, if someone else enjoys some of it too, even better. Some people keep journals, I'm going to blog. If nothing else my sister will like getting to read stories about her nephews. I have to give some credit/blame for me doing this to Libby, and her incredible Libby Logic blog. Her blog is irreverent, clever, and flat out funny, a must read. I'm going to aim a lot lower than that, so expect much less from mine, and you might enjoy it. I will openly admit this blog will gravitate mainly to the topic of my lovely workaholic CPA wife, my two adorable boys (O who is 6, and Q who is 3) and being a stay at home dad. I will blather on about other things as well, sports, movies, TV, food, fantasy football (soooo excited for football season!), maybe a little politics, and other inane things. Do not expect any talk of religion, something I find to be ones own personal issue. Without further ado, my first post......

I'm teaching my 3 year old to lie! I feel really bad about it, I really do, but it's better this way. O has just started first grade and going to school all day, it's a big adjustment for him. To complicate matters, he is convinced that his brother and I party all day without him. I know this, because every day after school, he greets his brother with great hostility, and says all we do is have fun without him. Despite being only 3 his brother takes great pleasure in pushing his brother's buttons, and excels at pushing them. Q loves the theatrics O goes through whenever he gets upset, so he tells him what we do while he's at school. To avoid angry outbursts and ease the school transition, I have been asking Q not to tell O about things we do. For his part, Q has done a wonderful job not revealing the events of the day, perhaps too good of job. I could reason he's learning there is grey area, not just black and white, but that would be BS, I'm teaching him to lie. Maybe he'll grow from it and make a wonderful politician as an adult, he just better not ever lie to me. I'm trying to convince O he's having much more fun at school than we could ever have at home, but that's just me promoting lying more. Hopefully he'll buy that one, so that it can be me doing responsible adult parental lies rather than his brother practicing plausible deniabilty for a career in politics.