Routine round-up

For only the second time ever, my wife and I are going away over night without our children. It's not as exciting as it sounds, although it is for a cool reason. My wife has been invited to be one of the featured speakers for a Women in Business seminar at a nearby University. Since the University is a couple of hours away, we thought it would be easier to go the night before. Of course, we found out last Friday that O has his science fair Wednesday and we're going to miss it. Nothing like a little guilt to serve you while you're gone. I think he'll live though, and it will give him something to tell his therapist later in life.

My mother will take care of our boys, staying over night at our house and taking them to school and activities the next day. We'll only be gone a little over 24 hours, but it's still a little hard and stressful to leave them. I was going to say I'm worried about them and their routine, but maybe I'm worried about me missing out on their routine. I know my mom will do a good job, and I know my boys will be good for her. At least they better be. I'll just miss them. It's actually comical the routine that I go through daily with the boys, especially when you have to sit down to explain it to someone. And it's just for one day. First O will have to make sure and get his homework done, this usually involves more time prodding and asking for it to be done than time spent doing it. Then the dinner where the prodding continues to eat their dinner good, unless of course it's pizza. The bed time is truly ritual. It starts with O going to the bathroom to do his daily duty. He will spend a good 15-20 minutes in there reading, until you finally tell him that is enough. You then have to continue to check if he is getting his pajamas on, because often times he'll just be in his room reading again, naked on his bed. Q is easy, help him get his pajamas, he'll put them on, and brush his teeth. Before you head in to bed all stuffed animals and blankets must be collected to sleep with. Then there is the "pee party", everyone has to go in and pee before bed to prevent accidents. First Q gets in bed, we sing him his song (both boys have their own specific made-up song to be sung before bed), give him a kiss and say goodnight. Then we go into O, he sings his song, then he gets his hug and kiss. Both boys have to have some water by their bed and Q has to have a red and blue binky. Then there is the morning ritual, O wakes up and reads in his room. Q wakes up and comes into me in bed, usually he'll climb in and snuggle for a second (one of my favorite things), then go find O. I'll come out and make O his frozen waffle with peanut butter and syrup, a glass of milk, and his medicine. Q will normally choose cereal, and usually it's special k with strawberries, but he will mix it up and have eggs sometimes. The problem is Q has to be goaded back to the table continually to eat, and then sometimes hand fed to make sure. Then the fun starts, trying to get O to get his uniform on for school. Q I just tell to go get dressed, but the 6 year old requires me to dress him or I go crazy trying to get him to do it fast enough. He never fails to complain about the uniform either, you'd think he would be used to it by now. Then the prodding to get on shoes and a jacket, a few times. Finally, do you have everything you want to bring? Of course not, go get it now, we are leaving. O gets dropped at school first, then Q and I park across the street (and we have to park in a specific spot) until it is time for him to go. If we ever have anywhere to go after school I have to bring a change of clothes and snacks, otherwise O will melt down. Forbid we should ever have to go anywhere in his uniform.

I think I've decided it's ok I miss the routine for one day now. My mom can read this for a refresher if she needs anything. It may not be too romantic, but it is a getaway.

Progress report

I am 4 weeks in to my attempts to exercise, lose weight, and be healthier. So far it's not going too bad. The first 3 weeks I managed to work out 4 days each week, last week I only got in 2 since there was a holiday, a cold, and a project keeping me from it. I lost a couple of pounds the first week, then nothing for the next two. Last week (when I work out less), I manage to lose about 3 more pounds. That puts me at 221.4 lbs, so about 5 pounds in 4 weeks, I'm pretty happy with that. It always takes my body a little bit to adjust to exercise. At first when I start in, I get hungry all the time and actually eat more, but as I get into more of a routine, I actually end up eating less and better. I've been doing mostly the body weight 200 workout, but I'm looking to try and do more running and cardio. I'd like to be working out 5-6 days a week. I've been slacking with the ab workout, I need to be better about that, but let's face it doing abs sucks! The body weight workout was tough at first, I was only doing about 75% of it, but last week I finally made it through with 100% of the reps and exercises. I'm hoping that after last week's losses, I'm trending downward. Time will tell.

Excerpts from last friday

The following are some excerpts from my day last Friday:

Ring, ring.

me:"hello"

my wife:" hello, what are you up to?"

me:"On my way to pick up Q from school"

her:"I just heard on the radio that if you go to Taipan Trading, they are giving out $50 gift certificates and a box of chocolates when you mention a certain radio show (I am not saying what show because I don't care for nor desire to promote it)."

me:"But I don't listen to that show, nor would I want to publicly say that I had heard anything on it."

her:"That's OK, you just have to go to customer service and tell them."

me:"They wouldn't be giving out free certificates."

her:"Yes they are, I heard it on the radio, they keep talking about it. So will you go and get me one."

me:"Probably not."

her:"But it's free, you have to go get one, you can go after you get Q."

me:"Nothing in life is free."

her:"For me, please!"

me:"We'll see."

Later on that day, ring, ring

me:"Hello"

my wife again:"Hey what are you doing?"

me:"Just put Q down for his nap."

her:"You didn't go to Taipan, did you?"

me:"Nope"

her:"Are you going to?"

me:"Wasn't planning on it."

her:"You could pick up O from school, and then run out there."

me:"I really don't want to, I have some other stuff to do."

her:"Please!!"

me:"I'll think about it."

By the time I picked up O, the guilt had built up sufficiently that I felt I should go. Much to the boys chagrin we went. Once there we went to the customer service desk which was deserted. After standing there for a few minutes being ignored, a janitor pushing a broom asked if he we needed help. He pointed out the manager to me. The manager explained that if you bought a $50 gift certificate, that you then got a box of chocolates worth $10 for free. Aaaaaaaaagggghhhhh! I thanked him, gathered the boys, walked out to the car and immediately called my wife. I proceeded to reel off a string of I told you so's. She could not apologize enough, she felt awful. I felt vindicated. An important lesson was learned, nothing in life is free and my wife needs to listen/read promotional offers more carefully. I think it also important to note that I did the right thing in going to Taipan Trading, it's always best to try to keep your wife happy and do what she asks, even if you think she is wrong (most of the time she isn't).

I am so cultured!

Last night I attended a dinner/auction for Ballet West, followed by a performance of Swan Lake. I'm not sure I'll be rushing back any time soon. To be fair the only other ballet I have been to is the Nutcracker, so I am not very well versed on the nuances of ballet, but there seem to be issues especially for the male viewers. It even sparked up conversations in the men's room at the first intermission, and guys just don't normally talk in the bathroom. The main issue was wanting pants on the male dancers, do their tights really need to ride all the way up the butt crack? That's without even mentioning the ever present bulges. One guy in the bathroom suggested the men and women swap costumes and he might be more interested. I can't say I agree with that, I felt like I should go back stage and hand out cheeseburgers and pamphlets on eating disorders to the ballerinas. My wife even noted that one dancer really stood out, because she actually had breasts, although the rest of her was sickly skinny. My biggest problem was that I couldn't figure out what was going on. Thank goodness for the program, rather, thank goodness for my wife reading the program and explaining to me what was going on in the story. My friend summed up the story as far as we could tell, it started with some homo erotica, then some pedophilia, then bestiality, then a double suicide, all with lots of dancing. I am convinced that ballet is best viewed as if you were making an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MSTK3000), with a running comic commentary. Things were just begging for ridicule. Unfortunately my wife threatened to separate Dave and I if we continued to do that, so we had to show restraint and just do it a little. Despite it's 3 hour run time, and several glasses of wine, I never came close to nodding off, so that was a positive. I do have to admit, the athletic ability and talent of the dancers really is incredible, they work very hard at their craft and are undeniably beautiful to watch move. The sets and backdrops were also amazing, as were the costumes, there are some very talented artists at work at Ballet West. I can't leave out the orchestra and the music, which were also top notch and a highlight of the performance. One last positive from the night, we won 3rd row tickets to a Jazz game in the silent auction, that way my wife can take her turn and make fun of that all night. Then I could have her write a blog about her experience!

When did I get old?

After having been Russell Crowe all week on FB, I decided it was time for a new profile picture. In the past I have always used a picture of my boys, and thought it might be time to put up a picture of me. I looked at pictures all the way back to when we first got a digital camera, when O was born. I was taken aback by the youthfulness of my appearance, especially when compared to today. Can 6 years really make that big of a difference? I can only come to one conclusion, my children are aging me exponentially. Those 6 years from then to now, have actually aged me 18 years. I am fearful of their teenage years and how old I may grow then. I also find it odd, that as I have aged so quickly, my wife still looks as young as ever. In fact she is more beautiful and youthful than ever. Other than the fact that she exercises, eats right, and takes care of herself, the only difference between us is that she colors her gray hair and I don't (and she's 1 year younger). I guess if things continue, it will look like I married myself a much younger trophy wife, so I've got that to look forward to. However, I'm not sure the boys will appreciate their friends asking if I'm their grandfather. Perhaps my new found attempts at exercise will slow the process, but in the mean time I best get me some Oil of Olay.

Line of demarcation

Technology can be a wonderful thing, it makes our lives easier, it makes it easier to stay in touch, any number of things. But there is a dark side to technology, one hidden beneath the sheets, that can cause separation.

For Christmas my wife asked for and was given a dual control heated mattress pad. Ever since we were first married, we have always encountered the same problem, she runs cold, and I run hot. Her hands, her nose, and just in general, she is always cold. While she is piling on the blankets, I am kicking off the covers. In the beginning of our marriage it took some getting used, more than just the usual of having someone invade your sleep space. Of course she wanted to cuddle, which I'm fine with, but the body temp differences were limiting. Especially since I think the reason she is always cold is because she emits so much heat from her body. So much so, that I gave the nickname "my little butane heater". We could cuddle, but we couldn't sleep that way, because I would become unbearably hot and sweaty. Over the years we worked out a system to keep everyone happy, there had to be a physical connection somewhere as we went to sleep. Mostly it was a foot touching a lower leg, so she knew I was there, I didn't get hot, and we were separate enough to have different amounts of covers. Like everything, it took some time, but now I find my foot searching for her when she is out of town for work. That is until technology intervened! Now there is a virtual electric fence across the middle of our bed. Even if her side is turned on low, a foot across the line can make me uncomfortable. There is still occasion where she will stray to the cold side, but often she retreats to her heated cocoon, and I to the cool other side of my pillow. Luckily our love is much stronger than the electrical current splitting us at night, but it is another example of technology reducing actual human contact,